Judgement...

I have dwelled on whether or not to write this post, but I figure if it is gnawing at me that bad, it should be out there. I even ran it by a few friends who felt like it should be posted publicly because it might give a voice to the voiceless, hope to the hopeless and/or understanding to the lost. I am not one for airing dirty laundry, that is not what this is about. Yes, its personal, but it is a learning experience. And, hey, its a problem that this broke fat girl faces... ;]

I have an acquaintance that I met through hobby channels. She lives in the same state, but too far away for us to be able to get together as friends per-say.  Last week she sent me a message on Facebook that said she was confused by my relationship status. I wrote her back and asked "What is confusing about it?"

Now, understand that my "in a relationship with" on Facebook clearly shows that I am in a relationship with a woman. So, I consider that pretty plain. I will say that the last time I spoke to her, I was recently divorced (from a man), but I didn't feel the need to disclose that to her, because well, I honestly didn't feel like it was anybody's business. That convo was about a year and a half ago. All that time she was on my friend's list and I did change my relationship status to reflect my status as it changed. I have been in my current relationship for just over a year now and she JUST now noticed apparently. I tell you all that because we obviously are not close enough to have our noses in each other's business, right? Right! On with the story.

She writes back saying that she knew I was supportive of my friends that were not straight, but that she thought I had ties to Christianity. That last she knew I was married. I write her back and say that you can be a Christian and not be straight and explained the divorce and the time that has been, blah, blah, blah. So I get this message back that basically says that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong too many times for her to be okay with it and that men and women were designed to be together for procreation, but she will still be my friend. *sigh* I get to break out the biblical beliefs argument. This ain't my first rodeo on this subject. Should I mention that she is married to a minority, has no children, and freely admits that she does NOT attend church due to how those people cram beliefs down your throat?

So before I post my reply, I want you to stop here and ponder. Why do people feel so free as to admonish someone for their sexuality? I feel certain if I were seeing someone outside my race, no one would have the gall to openly say something about it, even if they did disapprove. The Bible does speak about not being with people of other nations... Okay, Onward!

Here is my reply. Its long, but I promise you it is worth the read:

"In my journey of my faith, I really struggled with the idea that God would condemn a person for loving another even if they were of the same sex. Some of the healthiest relationships I have ever known were between two people of the same sex. Some of the people I knew I could depend on the most outside of my family, were homosexual. So I set out to explore where all the hate from Christians was coming from, many years before I found myself attracted to a woman. I seek to understand all things and this was no different. Read this with an open mind. I am not "preaching" to you here, simply laying out what I have learned and discovered over time.

The Bible was written by man AFTER stories had been passed by word of mouth. Then it has been translated over many years to many different languages. It is a historical text. When someone tells you a story are you able to relay it word for word? A lot of people will even embellish a story when retelling it. Its true and proven. So before the Bible was even written, it had changed from the original story. Then the only way to make copies of the Bible was for it to be handwritten. Again, how many times have you tried to copy something word for word and got it completely correct? Which brings us to translations. As you know the English language is one of the most complex and confusing languages. We have lots of words that sound the same but mean different things, they may even look very close with only an change in a vowel, and even those vowels sound the same, ex. pen and pin. I do believe some things got lost in translation. Just as any other text that is translated. We don't even structure sentences in the same manner in all languages. Word of mouth, hand copying and translation were all done by mankind, who from the very first book we learn is flawed and not perfect.

Most Christians want to use the Old Testament to point out homosexuality as a sin. Now we all know we do not live by the OT. We cut our hair, wear blended clothing, women are not banished when the menstruate, we don't sacrifice animals or stone our children. The list can go on and on. Even the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, I find it much more appalling that the father offered up his daughters to raped by the men of the village, then said daughters got their father drunk in order to sleep with him and try to conceive children. Rape and incest are not something we condone in today's society. You cannot use the Bible as if it is a cafeteria where you can pick the things you like to go on your plate.

So that brings us to the New Testament. Which covers Jesus' life and death in detail. Most Christians today will say that they do not live by the OT, but by the teachings of Jesus. Never once does Jesus mention homosexuality. Jesus loved all people, including lepers and prostitutes. We even have high praise for Mary Magdalene, (who tradition says was a prostitute, even though there is nothing in the Bible to support that view.) according to the Gospel of John, Jesus chose her to appear to after his death. The only sexual sin the Bible mentions over and over is adultery and even that has is different definitions depending on who you talk to. Some people claim that even finding a person attractive other than your spouse is a form of adultery.

There are so many people that live their lives in misery and sadly take their lives over the judgement of Christians on homosexuality, where there is no clear proof that it is as detestable as mankind has led us to believe. Not everyone was put on this earth to procreate. There are plenty of straight people who cannot conceive for one reason or another. I was not born to have children, period. It is not in my personality make-up.

My divorce taught me that failure is an option even when you have given your all to something. Not that its the best way, but failure is going to happen sometimes and can be completely out of your control. You can try too hard and only make things worse. You can do everything society says you should do to be happy and still be miserable. So just like coming off a horse, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and tried things my way.

I don't have any issues discussing my trials and tribulations about falling in love with my partner. It wasn't something I took lightly. I am open to any and all discussions about it, when those discussions are not meant for ill intent, even if they are pure curiosity. Just like most relationships, ours isn't built solely on the physical intimacy. Its build on love, trust, honesty and partnership above all things."

And that my friends, is how you nip it in the bud. ;]

Peace, love and chicken grease,
BFG